Wednesday, February 15, 2012

What quote doth yonder email bringth?

EVERYBODY at work seems to sign their emails with a pithy quote to show the readers that 'yes, i too can search the Internet for other people's words'.

My email signature at work right now is 'Mary ext. 555'. It is naked and straightforward. I am avoiding peer pressure to spruce it up with a quote.

As a lover of books and words, I should be happy that Bartlett has not been forgotten in the age of one letter text messages. (k)
Instead, I am feeling angst-y about what quotation to use.

At first, I thought it would be cute to end my emails with words in really small print to make them hard to read and therefore, noticeable. Something like:

'always read the fine print'

Then, I considered a quote about small print. I found:

"The large print giveth and the small print taketh away." Tom Waits

However, jokes about small print typed in small print are not really in the spirit of the quotes people use at work. Folks are using happy/peppy/Dale Carnegie/Up with People/blowing sunshine up my a$$ quotes. You know the kind of quotes that give you hope about the world. So, in that vein, I could use one of my favorite sayings:

"Get a grip and keep it." Henry Rollins


Or I could try for a quote that will cause a "WTH does that mean" moment:

"She was a perfect lady--just sat in her seat and stared." Eudora Welty

"Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love with you." Dorothy Parker

"I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal" Jane Austen

"Every moment of your life that is not a complete nightmare is happiness." Merrill Markoe

Or, since the quote is usually the very last line of every email (it comes after the text and after the 5 or so lines where people usually give their title, their department, their degrees, the names of their second cousins once removed), I could go with a quote that signifies, 'this is the END...the last thing you will have to read before you delete the email or respond to it'. is a good one (I 'googled' the term 'the end quotes' and found more than you might think one would):

"Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the ending of the beginning." Winston Churchill

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

lyrics from To Leave it Behind by Great Lake Swimmers:

"When we were greened and young as shoots
the world took off beneath our boots...", I have to lean up against the wall so I don't fall down while I put on my boots.
Ah well. Here is a toast: 'May we all remain greened and young as shoots to our 100th birthdays"

Great Lake Swimmers - To Leave It Behind

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Oh, Marian the Librarian, You went to college for This?

Overhearing this cell phone conversation, right now:

"I am at the liberry. How do I make the menu go away?"


"I am at the liberry right now and I need to make the menu go away."


"I am at the liberry. How do you make the menu go away? It's a pop-up. "


"I can't make it move to the left.... No. It don't move up."


She has to call a friend to use the computer at the library? There is a librarian sitting 5 feet away.

Oh wait, the librarian is busy directing someone to the bathroom.

(Give me a moment while I put my head in my hand and cry.)

The Music Man (Original Broadway Cast)- Marian The Librarian / My White ...