Thursday, February 11, 2016

rme

Bernie Sanders says he will impose a 52% tax on the super rich and Donald Trump says he will exclude all Muslim immigrants.
OK, I will build a bridge from New York City to Los Angeles. It will be made of saran wrap and there will be no speed limits.
Wait... I am being told this is not in fact "spew a stupid idea" day. So, I withdraw my saran wrap bridge idea. (I was going to name it the Bicoastal Slip & Slide & it was going to be fun but never mind). I will just sit in the corner and roll my eyes instead.

Speaking of rolling my eyes, I once got called out by a supervisor for rolling my eyes in a meeting. This same lady once texted & answered personal email in a meeting she was leading so I take her criticism of eye rolling with a grain of salt.
But, for argument sake let's say she is a perfect person & my eye roll was offensive to the serious spirit of our meetings. Even then, I still defend the eye roll. It is one of those involuntary moves that humans make from our deepest primal self. Perhaps an eye roll is snarky or passive aggressive but it is at least genuine. It is difficult to pre-meditate an eye roll. It just happens.
In my opinion a genuine reaction is worth more than a polite or politically correct reaction.
So 52% tax or bigotry against immigrants...yeah that gets ya an eye roll from me. My eyes are rolling like a slot machine in Vegas.

Sunday, February 7, 2016

I used to be afraid of elevators

My mother is afraid of stairs and I am afraid of elevators. We never can move far together. I remember once at a mall she took a small service elevator to the second floor and I used the escalator. We were so far from each other we never did meet up again until we both had finished shopping. It is a metaphor for our relationship.
Now my mother has cancer and one way or another she is certainly dying. I do not feel any closer to her but I feel closer to the early pure moments of the mother and child bond. I feel the memory of love but I don't feel the love. It makes seeing her difficult.
I like to say it is like adding cayenne pepper to chili after you cook it. Sure, you can taste the cayenne but it would have tasted better had the cayenne been added at the beginning & left to simmer.
What does this have to do with elevators?
Well, today at work I realized I wasn't afraid to take the elevator. Usually on a Sunday I am loathe to use it because I am afraid I will get stuck on it for hours and end up being in aYouTube video called "employee pees in elevator".
Today, though, I actually wished the elevator would get stuck. Then I would be exempted from having to visit or not visit my mother. I would be exempted from having to deal with the consequences of my choice to visit or not visit my mother.
I am no longer anxious about elevators. I am anxious about life outside the elevator.