The first time I was on the internet was in 1992. My boyfriend showed me how to chat with other folks. It was a DOS style ticker tape that ran across the bottom of the screen. Dan set me up on his computer in his college co-op dorm style room and left me. As he walked away I asked "why would I want to chat with someone I don't know on a computer?" Then I was alone with the blinking cursor followed by what -- no surprise--was anonymous flirtatious chat. Meanwhile my boyfriend was downstairs flirting in person with his Michigan Co-op housemate. I ended the chat on the computer quickly not out of prudishness but out of boredom. In 1992, I had the luxury of thinking I could find interaction in person and did not need to get my needs met via the ethernet. I did not want to flirt with someone far away on a computer when I could be in a relationship with someone emotionally far away in person. Needless to say, Dan and I broke up soon after.
So, since then I have had numerous blogs and a couple twitter accounts. I dipped my toe into myspace, facebook and instagram. I love YouTube and now I am beginning to love the tik tok too.
But one thing I have learned about the internet and how we as individuals use it: who you are in real life is ultimately who you are in social media. Even if you try to hide yourself or change yourself or commodify yourself, you can never bury yourself. One's true nature always peaks through whether we recognize it or not.
Me on social media and real life: I flit, I fly, I get obsessed then I ghost. I have avoidant personality disorder. To the point: I left this blog to go to twitter. I finally left twitter and I am back at this blog.
We'll see how much I bother to post.
Cya when I cya.
